Sunday, July 3, 2011


 self portrait, 2011

"To solve a (physics research) problem involves assumption after assumption, approximation upon approximation, and those great leaps of imagination people call thinking outside the box.  it involves the ability to move forward, follow your intuition, and accept that you don't fully understand what you are doing.  And most of all, it entails believing in yourself."-Leonard Mlodinow, 2003

Applicability to me:  Not really sure.  But then, yes.  It kind of explains why I think and think and think, and then think some more.  The only times I have solved a problem is when I actually took action, did something, moved forward even if the proposed solution landed me flat on my face.

Moving forward.  It is the only way I can get through the problem I have right now.  Releasing the past and realizing that it is exactly that, the past.  What part?  Work?  Most definitely.  I will never have a job like the one I had at Store W.  But then again, I may not really want a job quite like that one either.

But I don't think that is really my problem either.  I think it has to do more with my creativity.  I really need to find a way to harness it without it becoming a chore. what you love and the money will follow.  Old news.  But what I am really after is doing what I love, and the happiness following.  That has a broader spectrum of inclusion than just money.

How about fear?  That is definitely a problem.  Again, cliche...the only thing you have to fear is fear itself.  Truer than I really want to admit.  Fear has paralyzed me in the past, and probably still today.   It has no benefit (except when you are running from something like a bear).  I have made my greatest strides and had the highest self esteem rating when I stood up in front of the crowd and thumbed my nose at what they expect of me and followed my heart.  I should do that sort of thing again, more than once more I suppose;)

I had a friend once tell me that they really admired (for lack of better words right now) my free spirit.  I never looked at my life path in the light of being a free spirit until she brought it to my attention.  I had always been labeled as "unfocused", a "gypsy", "aimless", "unsettled".  I suppose.  Not really.  I have always been in the pursuit of happiness.

It's amazing what you can figure out when you write it down.


---"Love" said...

Ooooh! The thinking is getting deep around here! *grin* I do think introspection is good for one's life and soul. I've enjoyed reading your blog as you have poured out your feelings and thoughts about life in a manner most would not consider doing. Seems to me you have matured a lot through it. Even when times have been tough sometimes, you've learned to handle it very well, and still enjoy life! Enjoy July 4! ---"Love"

a good yarn said...

There's nothing wrong with stopping to take stock of where you are and where you want to be. Reminds me of that song..."You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative - don't mess with Mister In-Between!" Ann :-)

Cynthia said...

I'm completely jealous of deep thinkers like you! Introspection has never been easy for me...but I do agree it's amazing what you can figure out when you write things down! I totally understand the fear thing though...weird that a mental thing can be so crippling huh? I read a quote a couple months ago that I liked so much i put it on my fridge..."your future is as bright as your faith" --reminds me that fears only have as much power as I give them! Happy 4th!

Liriopia said...

I'm a "bull by the horns" person and tend to jump in with both feet. My introspection takes place while I am creating. I think you are a very creative person, so don't be afraid to follow your own path. Did you ever notice how we usually find what we start looking for only if we have the imagination to see it in our minds eye? Ever see a black hole or a quark?

Sandy said...

Deep thinking, indeed. When my children were born (and I think this applies to most new parents) I wished for them to be healthy and happy. Over time I probably added intelligent, creative, athletic, 'successful'. My kids are now 37 and 34, and my most fervent wish is for them to be happy. Without happiness, the rest means very little. So, you are on the right track!

I have always enjoyed reading your blog, and came to that 'free spirit' conclusion myself some time ago. I am sure that your recent move has a lot to do with this introspection -- definitely not a bad thing, either.


Just Another Quilter said...

I liked the quote I heard at Weight Watchers last month...good judgement comes from bad experiences. I have to made some bad choices to be able to have good judgement to make good choices. This fits into so many parts of life.
Just Another Quilter

Beth said...

I admire your free spirit! You are very creative and good at thinking out of the box. I think I understand what you mean about the chore part. My sister is always telling me I should make things to sell. I enjoy making things, but mass producing them is a chore and I don't want to do that.
You keep looking for what will make you happy. hugs