Sunday, October 23, 2011

I am bit lost here this evening. I know I share alot of stories about my personal life, but I do tend to keep the knitty gritty to myself.

My brother dumped his motorcycle last night. Shattered his ankle and heel. Peeled enough skin off of his leg to warrent surgery just to fix that.

The kicker is this twofold section....1) he suffered a massive heart attack along with it and they are having problems getting his heart stabalized enough to do the surgery needed to fix the foot and ankle. They are probably going to do heart surgery before they can go in and do the foot repair. They took him into surgery today long enough to pull the skin back down where it belonged in order to avoid infection and possible amputation.

Here's the hard part.....2) He is facing a DWI charge. I have zero sympathy for that part. I have told him before that he needs to stop, but he has yet (up until this point) to realize his mortality and the risk he puts himself and his family in. 

Heart problems...sister hopes he lives. I really don't want to have to bury my little brother.

Busted foot and totaled motorcyle, no sympathy. You know better. And we have tried to tell you. You have a child and a wife to take care of.  Get over it.  Live anyway.

I am mad and saddened at the same time.  If we were still on the same level we were at the age of 12 and 7, I would smack him and yell at him for being such an idiot.

The only thing I can see positive coming from this is that he will finally have his heart condition taken care of.  He has been suffering from heart attacks since he was 24.  But the medical industry won't do anything if you don't have insurance until you are almost dead.

I am hoping...as much as a big sister can....that the events that are unfolding become a wake up call and that he changes his ways.  He has a little family that thinks the world of him and loves him to the end.  The death of our father hit him hard, and that seems to be what leads him to the drinking he does.  And the recklessness his life has tended towards since then.

I want to go see him and be by his side in the way only a big sister can, but I have no cash do it with.  So, I have to wait until he is able to talk to communicate with him.  I am hoping that I do not have to go up for a funeral.  It would be a wasted life.

I know that we all face hardships in our lives, and that those dearest to us sometimes pass before we are ready for it.  But that leaves no excuse to end yours prematurally.  I am trying really hard to keep my composure.  He's my littel brother.  He's my "Friar".   He's my monster to torment.  I have already lost my father.  And almost lost my son this year.  I don'd need another one of the most important men in my life passing away on me.

I am going to call it a night.  I hope that I didn't bring everybody down. 

8 comments:

Liriopia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Liriopia said...

I hear you, loud and clear. Hopefully, your brother will get the message this time! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Liri

Ruth said...

Here's hopiing and praying for a good outcome all the way around. Sometimes it takes something dramatic for people to wake up. I'm so sorry that he is in such serious condition. Motorcycles do scare me. DH has had a few and on of my DSs has one now.

Katie said...

Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you and your family. I truly hope your brother comes through this safely, but with a few lessons learned along the way. And that slapping him around, telling him in no uncertain terms that he's a fool might not be a bad thing. That's what sisters are for, right? Maybe give his wife a call, check on her and ask her to send your well wishes to him through her. I'd bet she'd be happy to know you're thinking of her right now and I'd also bet she's there with him as much as she can be.

---"Love" said...

As Ruth said, sometimes it takes a tough blow to wake some of us up. Hopefully while he is lying in bed waiting for the surgeries, he will realize the error of his ways and decide to straighten up. He, his little family, especially the children, and you will be in my prayers. Hopefully you will receive good news soon, so that your next post can be as happy as your last one was! ---"Love"

LynCC said...

oh, no :( What a terrible thing to be going through, with such understandably mixed feelings. Thank the Lord he's alive to hopefully move forward to a better future with his family.

Beth said...

Sending you big hugs. It is terrible thing to have happened. I do hope that he comes through all his surgeries and heals quickly. Hopefully this will be the wake up call he needs. If not you will have to do the big sister smack ( even if it is a verbal smack).
Hang in there.

a good yarn said...

Of course you feel this way.It's not easy to stand by and watch a loved one put themselves in harm's way unnecessarily. Unfortunately, only he can make those monumental changes to his life.

We are most fortunate in Australia to have access to free health care which I know we take for granted.